Essential Office Skills..!!!! !
1) NEVER WALK IN THE OFFICE WITHOUT ANY DOCUMENT IN YOUR HANDS!
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for a important meetings. People without any document in their hand just look like theyre heading for the food court/canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like theyre going for toilet. So..above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generate the false impressions that you work longer hours than you do!
2) USE COMPUTERS TO LOOK BUSY!
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "WORK" to the casual observer, even though at that time youre checking on your FACEBOOK account..ha ha ha! When you get caught by your BOSS..and you *will* get caught..your best defense is to claim youre teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses!
3) MESSY DESK.
Top management can get away with clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like were not working hard enough! So, build huge piles of documents around your workplace. To the observer, last years works looks the same as todays works: its volumes that counts! Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives!
4) VOICE MAIL.
NEVER answer your phone if you have voice mail. people never call you just becouse they want to give you something or nothing - they call becouse they THEY want YOU to do WORK for THEM! Thats no way to live! Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail mesage for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know theyre not thre - it looks like youre hard working and conscientious even though you are being a devious weasel!
5) LOOKING IMPATIENT AND ANNOYED
Always try to look impatient nd annoyed to give your BOSSES the impression that youre always busy!
6) LEAVE THE OFFICE LATE.
Always leave the office late, especially the BOSS is still around! You could read magazines or storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you past the BOSS room on your way out or at least make the BOSS noticed that youre leaving!
7) CREATIVE SIGHING FOR EFFECT!
Sigh loudly especially when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure!
8) STACKING STRATEGY.
It is not enough to pile up lots of documents on the table. So..put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computers manuals are the best!!)
9) HAVE 2 JACKETS.
If you work in a big open plan office, alway leaves a spare jacket draped over the back or your seat. This gives the impression that you are still in the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere!
10) MOST IMPORTANT!!
DON'T forward this to your BOSS by mistake!!! :)
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